I will forever thank myself for choosing to go on an exchange.
It’s an experience I had always dreamed of having, exploring what’s out there in the world, to expand my understanding of more than just what’s in front of me. I’ve always had an interest in other cultures and communities, curious about the differences between us as humans as well as everything we seem to have in common. At 6 years old, I started studying French in school so I understood parts of the language and overall culture. However, I was always aware of the gaps in my knowledge and knew my understanding of the language was limited to the classroom. This drove me to researching and figuring out my options, and I eventually decided to go to France with AFS.
Living in France, I loved how my general life routine was completely different to what I had lived in New Zealand. It felt almost as if I was a different person. I had expected it to be pretty similar, but my whole natural rhythm felt different, as if I had taken the place of someone else, someone who spoke French and was a part of the community there. As I adjusted to this rhythm, I found I really enjoyed it; it made me feel like I was connected to life in an entirely new way. One of the highlights was the town I stayed in, a small one but super French, with its old architecture. It felt so refreshing to live my day-to-day life in a place like that, so different from the town I’m from back home.
School also felt so different, as everything from the timetable to the buildings to the class atmosphere were nothing like New Zealand schools. This was great though, because it was so eye opening to have an experience as a student at an overseas school. Some things were better, like having the canteen provide food and being able to leave the campus when we didn’t have class, while some things were worse like the distant relationship between teachers and students and some classes ending as late as 6pm. It was also really nice not having to focus so much on academics. School for me was amazing for meeting so many people, as we stayed with the same group for almost all of our classes and luckily everyone in mine got along well, making it easy to make friends. Everyone was a little distant at first, but I found that if I really made an effort to talk, they would make an effort to chat too, despite the language barrier. 
That’s probably one of the best pieces of advice I could give to all AFS students – to make an effort, to put yourself out there. In a foreign country where everyone likely knows each other and they speak so fast in another language, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and just keep quiet. For me, the fear of sounding wrong and stopping the discussion stopped me from speaking quite a few times, which is how I realized how important it was to say whatever I’m thinking anyway, not caring if I make a mistake. I’m there to learn, and I found that when I did say something wrong, people were able to laugh with me and correct me or wait for me to come up with a different way of explaining myself.
In the beginning, almost every time I spoke I learned something. I found that people were friendly and patient if I was willing to try, despite the stereotype of French people being rude to foreigners. So, a piece of advice I can give is to always be open, always be willing to learn and put yourself out there. If you’re going to France specifically, don’t be discouraged by how direct they speak, as for them it’s normal to say what you think and communicate very directly. 
My experience on the exchange taught me so much, and when I take a step back I can see how much I’ve changed as a person. I’ve grown in both confidence and maturity, which I feel is because I’ve proved to myself that I am capable, that I was able to overcome challenges that come with living overseas, like the language barrier, homesickness, and conflicting cultures.
I was able to cope with this by talking through it with my friends, my host family, and my support person with AFS France, who thankfully was a student at my school so we were able to meet often so I could talk about anything on my mind. I was also lucky I never had any major problem with my host family, other than usual family arguments, but I do know that if I did, there was a system of support in place that I could go through if I ever felt uncomfortable.
Living with a host family was interesting, and it took me a while to stop feeling like a guest. What worked for me to adapt to my host family’s lifestyle was to ask many questions about anything I wasn’t sure about straight away, because knowing was better than staying in the dark. Spending time with the family too, rather than in my room like I would at home also helped, it made me feel much less isolated.
I will forever be grateful for my host sister, who’s now one of my best friends. I felt incredibly lucky to have met her on my exchange as she always understood and helped me out whenever I had even the smallest issue. Host siblings make the whole experience less lonely, and it was so funny to see similarities in their family dynamics to mine back home, helping me realize we really aren’t that different. My host parents were welcoming, and made me feel comfortable as part of the household, always inviting me to places and asking what I wanted to do.
Something that helped me build the relationship between my host family and me was saying yes to everything. Going with them when they leave rather than choosing to stay home allowed me to experience things I never would’ve expected, and allowed me to learn more about each family member. I was also able to help my host family with anything regarding English, as they were helping me grow my French skills every day. Something else I loved about the experience was meeting other exchange students. Getting to know others from all around the world who had all arrived in France together at AFS camps was definitely a highlight, and I was able to make strong friendships and start planning to visit them all.
Going into the future feels much less daunting now that I carry with me everything I’ve learnt during my AFS experience in France. I trust myself more and have a better understanding of who I am as a person, and what my passions, strengths, and flaws are. It’s helped me understand the beauty there is in culture and language, and in the differences between us all. While I’m not yet certain of my future path, I know I have the strength to succeed in whatever I choose to do, and I’m definitely sure that I will get out there overseas again.
Are you ready to change your life? Choose your programme today!
